It has taken me countless trips to my favorite coffee shop to write this. These straightforward questions — like ‘what are you about?’ or ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’ have always paralyzed me. Their straightforwardness implies that the answer should be equally as straightforward. But anything involving our selves and our stories is rarely ever as uncomplicated as we may like it to be. I am learning to embrace the many interconnecting, seemingly contradictory, pieces of my intricate humanity.
So what am I about? Right now, I am about mothering, loving, writing, and rising. I am about telling the truth as a means of survival in a deceitful world. I am about creating sanctuaries, safe spaces, where the fullness of our selves are welcome and needed. I am about presence — being present wherever you find yourself. Being present with whatever emotions you feel in your bones. I am about feeling as deep as your bones.
I am about God. Which really only means that I am about Love and Kindness (in spite of what religion may have taught me). That is all I hope to believe about God. And really, all I hope to believe about myself.
I am about crying and coffee and pretending that showers are vacations.
I am about therapy and believing that healing comes slowly and all at once.
I am about taking off my masks and still wearing makeup, because apparently I am also about hormonal acne.
I am about meltdowns — which is really just the adult word for tantrums. But, just like how a toddler’s brain is incapable of processing their big world, I feel like sometimes my heart is incapable of processing our big world. (Or at least incapable of processing the big emotions in my little world.)
I am about keeping it real. Authenticity and Brave honesty.
I am about alone time and telling myself I am never alone.
I am about writing my heart out — exclaiming the truths and exposing the lies that lie deep within my story.
I am about self love as a means to loving others more fully.
I am about becoming who I am and unbecoming who I thought I should be.
I am about being human. And. I am about a human be-ing.